Mess of Bags

I hate plastic bags! They are such a pain in the @$$. I used to not mind them when I worked at a grocery store during my younger days. They were more convenient to carry and work with, but now they are nothing but a nuisance. I see them everywhere, on the road, in grass, and even in trees.

I noticed that they are a bane for the earth as well. Taking thousands of years to degrade, making their own continent in the ocean, and even being digested by animals only to come out unharmed after sickening and killing them! I think this needs to be in a movie.

The next terminator should be a plastic bag. The T-1000 has nothing on plastic bags. They would swarm their target from land, air and sea and kill it a variety of ways. They could suffocate, poison, and even crush their victims by burying them in an avalanche of plastic precision. Beware of plastic bags… beware.

For example, I am stuck in traffic because they have to clear the scene of an accident. The woman in the car in front of me isn’t very patient. She sees several trucks cross the median of the road, a huge grassy dip. The trucks can make it, but I very much doubt a car could. She attempts it several times, but each time suddenly decides not to take the risk. At one time, her entire car was off the pavement and it looked like she would actually try it.

There was no traffic coming from the other direction since all four lanes were shut down. It took about thirty minutes for traffic to start flowing again. This wouldn’t have been quite as stupid had she actually gone and made it across. But if she had failed, it would have been so much better.

This question gave birth to others. Are they all from the same father? Are you going to have any more kids? What if one of them passes? Will you change it to “5 Kids”? I guess not, since you would still have given birth to six children.

All these questions pop into my head as I drive past this person. I don’t have anything against personalized license plates, provided they are creative. This one just seems…well…weird.

Also in the works are articles imported from the old site that still make sense. A lot of those articles were written so stupidly… alas by me.

Some HAS articles will not be restored since their content was in context and cannot be made to make sense anymore. I will do my best to lose as few articles as possible.

Essentially, we use money and NEED it because of how stupid we are. People cannot and WILL not give or do anything without getting money in return. “Well, naturally,” you may say, “how else does the world work?” But there are instances in which the demand for money should be superseded by higher obligations. For example, a sick person can be turned right out of the hospital if he/she does not have health insurance or any other means of paying the doctors on the spot. (I actually know two people to whom this has happened. One was having symptoms of a stroke; the other had an aggressive cancer. The latter is now deceased.)

There is something chilling about the fact that people expect one another to pay in order to stay alive, as if buying survival was akin to paying for a magazine subscription, or an iPod. Magazines and iPods are luxuries – they make life pleasurable, but you don’t absolutely need them. But survival is…well…survival.

In cases like the ones I mentioned above, doctors should be willing to accept delayed payment from a patient with a life-threatening or even a potentially life-threatening condition, if said patient cannot pay at that exact moment. I mean, come on! It isn’t as though doctors are such a financially strapped group of people, anyway!

This is just one example I can think of in which the nobility and compassion that humans believe they possess should override their immediate need for compensation now, now, now!

You can lose money, but you can get it back – even vast quantities of it. But an individual life can never be replaced. So which has more value? The expendable, or the irreplaceable?

But that’s exactly the point. People are still too bestial a species to give help to those who desperately need it without expecting something in return. But then, human stupidity has led to this exact same phenomenon – maybe if people felt that they could trust one another, this kind of selfless behavior would occur more often.

The world needs money because people are stupid, but then money makes the more irrational and amoral among us do stupid things, leading to more insecurity, resulting in a greater dependence on money. It’s a tragic cycle that feeds on itself.

But you must get that TV that is 60% less then normal or the new gadget that is 80% discounted. For some this is worth the headache and hassle. What about the others though? Some dread going out on this day for the simple fact that most humans turn into primal animals. Their lust and desire for the deals turned them into hardened fiends. They must get to the deals no matter the cost and before the store runs out.

This takes a toll on those who are using their day off to start Christmas shopping and general goods shopping, ignoring the “black deals” that others directly aim for. These innocent people are sometimes caught in the crossfire. The Black Deal shoppers will take their rage and anger out on them if there is any interference. This can lead to physical and emotional damage on both sides.

For the workers it can even be more damaging. They have to endure the ridicules and crassness from these customers! While you may think that the workers are just doing their job sometimes the stores have them come in at the early hours of the morning. When the store then opens people flood in like a wave and try to grab all the good deals before anyone else does. What then happens when a deal is gone? Those customers take it out on the workers.

What can be done to avoid this? Stay indoors! Don’t go out on this day. Avoid anything that will cause you to leave the safety of your home. Only go out if there is absolutely no choice. If you do go out remember the above and try to keep it in mind as you work your way through the horror and confusion that is Black Friday.

So what’s with the expression “Have your cake and eat it too”? I mean if you’re going to get a piece of cake you’re going to want to eat it. Well according to Wikipedia that isn’t the original expression. The original is actually reversed so it goes more like “Eat your cake and have it too”. This implies that you can’t eat your cake and then have it.

Somewhere, sometime, something went stupid. Someone reversed the expression and we got this whole new illogical one. I mean, what fun would a completely logical and sensible expression be anyway? Someone said it wrong and then spreading like wildfire, it became adopted as canon and BAM!, we have a whole new expression, as stupid as it may be, with the original being forgotten.

So next time someone says that expression, please try and correct them. Let them know why it is wrong how they said it. Maybe together we can restore it to its proper usage and this will be a forgotten entry in time.

Get ready and be prepared!